Children need both parents: 15th June International Father's dayChildren need both parents STOP THE BIAS AGAINST FATHERS OUR DEMANDS:
We at CRISP dedicate outself and our efforts to the creation of a judicial system , legislative system and public awareness which promotes equal rights for all parties affected by divorce and the break up of a family keeping in mind the best interests of the childs as they are assets to the nation . Researchers say that join tcustody is the best outcome for children .As custody battles between parents increase , we firmly believe that by couselling separated and divorced parents without taking a cynical denial of the rights of one party will have beneficial effects of the child .
National Fathers day Rally : 14th June,2008 , Mathama Gandhi Statue, M.G.Road Bangalore.
- Stop the practice of alienating the child from the father
Make shared parenting the mandatory presumption
Ensure child access to both grandparents
Eliminate Gendia Bias from family Law and future legislations
Stop "interparental child abduction "
Respect hague conventions
Prevent the the practice of using malicious 498a and dowry llaws as deny parenting to father
Stop making fathers childless
REserve atleast 50% of primary custody for fathers
Children's Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP) Rally demanding Children’s Right on 14th June 2008 Contact: 98452 64488, 93428 53272, 9243473794 On Saturday, 14th June 2008, Children's Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP) protest in front of Mahatma Gandhi Statue, MG Road demanding the children rights. People from all walks of life including Software engineers, Doctors, NRI’s and Businessmen will participate in this protest. CRISP is an initiative aimed at protecting the rights of the children. CRISP is a Non Governmental Organization(NGO) founded recently by a group of citizens, who recognize the serious effects of "parental alienation" on children due to single parent families on account of divorce or sepafration. CRISP also focuses on furthering the rights of a child to remain connected with both parents in case parents get divorced. While most NGOs pertaining to children deal with issues related to child labour, education etc we deal with issues related to unquestionable right of children to be cared for by both biological parents. Our aims and objectives are based on research findings worldwide which indicate that children do best when both parents are actively involved in their lives, even after separation or divorce. We believe that conflict between parents will get reduced and the mental and emotional health of children will improve, when divorcing parents can be assured of equal and meaningful contact with their children. According to CRISP, Parents contemplating divorce should be given manadatory counselling on "shared parenting" and the benefits there of by a panel of experts supervised by the family court. This will eliminate unnecessary child custody battles and stress to the parents and the child.Parental alienation occurs, when one parent disallows the other parent from communicating with their children for personal vendetta. The dominant parent then brainwashes the child against the other parent, assuring the child that it is all right to ignore the other parent." This brings a lot mental distress and trauma to the child and the alienated parent. Indian legal system is still based on patriarchal mindset, which considers fathers as not capable of nurturing the children. However, today many fathers are competent of taking care of the needs of the children for normal upbringing. When women can multitask by going to work, doing domestic chores and also take care of children, it is baseless to say that men/fathers are not capable of taking care of children. With rise in number of working parents in nuclear family setup, father's involvement in raising the children is a must. Otherwise, the child is simply left at the mercy of servants and strangers in day care centers. The mindsets in Indian legal system has to change by taking account of the current social situation. Shared parenting is recognised in many western countries. CRISP demands an Early Intervention Project where divorcing parents would have to meet with a panel of experts to clarify issues such as custody, finance, education and children's upbringing before proceeding with the divorce.
"Studies have shown that children who go through their parents' divorce have · more conduct problems, · symptoms of psychological maladjustment, · lower academic achievement, · Social difficulties and problematic relationships with both parents. To make matters worse, many parents often influence their children to choose one parent over the other and this is often traumatic for the child and this cruelty on the child has to be stopped.Strengthen Fatherhood and Families: Since 1960, the number of American children without fathers in their lives has quadrupled, from 6 million to more than 24 million. Children without fathers in their lives are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime, nine times more likely to drop out of school, and 20 times more likely to end up in prison. As the proverb goes,"One father is better than 100 teachers."
In United States of America, Statistics reported tells that Children from fatherless homes are: · 5 times more likely to commit suicide · 32 times more likely to run away from home. · 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders · 14 times more likely to commit rape. · 9 times more likely to drop out of high school. · 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances (become drug addicts) · 9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution · 20 times more likely to end up in prison. · 3 million teenage girls have sexually transmitted diseases · At least 1 out of 4 teenagers (between 14years to 19years) suffers from sexually transmitted diseases. It is important for all citizens of the nation to wake up to stop a future social catastrophe as it has happened in western countries. We have to learn from the social experiments in America and Europe and stop repeating the mistakes western countries did in last 30 years. Today, billions of dollars are spent in those countries to tackle the behavioural problems. In fact, this is a major issue in most election campaigns in those countries as billions are spent on it. If a child is denied care of father as at present and if India becomes a fatherless society, then it will simply create more criminals, rapists and drug addicts in next 15 years (as shown in the statistics above). The entire social fabric and culture will be in ruins and the damage will be irreversible. So, CRISP members want to stop this social catastrophe and save the future generations from narrow mindsets.CRISP is dedicated in putting efforts to the creation of a judicial system, legislative system, and public awareness, which promotes equal rights for ALL parties affected by divorce and the breakup of a family keeping in mind the best interests of the child. As custody battles between parents increase, counseling of separating or divorced parents can have a positive effect on the overall development of the child. CRISP wants to highlight:That joint custody is the best outcome for children whose parents are separated. Child needs the support of both biological parents. Both biological parents should be responsible for the emotional and psychological well-being of their children. That "Interparental Child Abduction" is Child Abuse. Often one parent takes the child to another country without the permission of the other parents or the courts. It is known as parental abduction and is a criminal act under international laws including Hague Convention.That the practice of alienating the child from the other parent is Child Abuse. That grandparents should have rights and access to their grandchildren. That gender bias should be eliminated from family law and from future legislation. That parties should resist from using gender biased laws to wreak vengeance on the non-custodial parent.Demands by CRISP - Children's Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting: · Ensuring meaningful and balanced participation of both parents in the lives of children in case of separation of the parents. · Single mothers should be given mandatory counselling to increase involvement of biological father in the child's life.· Existing visitation schedules to increase and enhance the role of “non-custodial parents” in the best interest of the child.· Reforms in the existing child custody laws, practices for equal parenting sensitised to consider child's ne.· 50% of the custody to be given to the fathers.· Govt must allocate funds for conducting research on the adverse impact on fatherless children.· Creating a Ministry for children by separating the existing Women and Child (WCD) ministry. A separate union minister for children must be appointed. On 14th June, CRISP activists from various parts of India will conduct a massive protest in front of Gandhi Statue, on MG Road Bangalore. The time of the protest is from 10:00am till 1:00pm. About 150 to 200 men, women, elders and children are expected to participate in the protest. There are 30 to 40 men and women traveling from Hyderabad, Chennai and other parts of South India to participate in this protest. Most of them are scientists, NRIs, Software Engineers, Doctors and Business persons. The protests will be held every month in different parts of India till Indian parliament amends the laws to Save Indian Children and prevent social catastroph in future.
Reference News :Professionals to highlight joint custody of children in rally: Rediff news
It is said that the best parent is both parents. However, there is a general concern that in matters pertaining to the custody of a child, it is always the mother who has the upper hand.
Although the love of a mother is extremely important for the child, an aspect being forgotten by courts and lawmakers is the role the father has to play in the upbringing of a child.
On June 14, around 150 persons including IT professionals, businessmen, doctors and scientists will take out a rally to point out the ill-effects of parental alienation on children due to single parent families on account of divorce or separation.
The idea is to tell the world that children need the care of both parents and are in a better frame of mind when they are cared by both the parents.
Those involved in the protest which is organised by Children's Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting, a non governmental organisation founded by a group of citizens who recognise the seriousness of "parental alienation" and its effects on children, will also tell the world that both parents should be actively involved in parenting of the child even if they are divorced or separated.
Kumar Jagirdhar, the ex-husband of cricketer Anil Kumble's [Images] wife Chetana, will take part in this rally at Bengaluru on Saturday.
Jagirdhar says he started this NGO as there was a desperate need of a forum to address the pain that fathers undergo when they lose a child in a custody battle.
He says he himself is fighting a battle for the custody of his child. I do agree that the mother is the best person to take care of a child, but the question of gender bias should be eradicated in such matters. The father does have an equal role to play.
As per the United Nations convention, a child has to have access to both the parents. The courts have to encourage this and visitation rights should not be limited to a couple of hours during the week. I feel that the mother should have the custody of the child for the whole week and during the weekends, it should be with the father.
Uma Challa, member of Save Indian Family and president of the All India Forgotten Women, feels that this protest will help create awareness.
"The people in power should know that this issue cannot be ignored. It is for the first time in India that an issue of this sort is being raised. There is so much hype regarding gender equality and I feel that parents should be equal partners in the upbrining of a child," Challa says.
"What the lawmakers and enforcers should realise is that the father is not just a sperm donor. His role is very important and his existence cannot be eliminated once a divorce takes place. I feel that through this protest we also want to tell the courts that they would be promoting child abuse by picking the parents for a child," Challa adds.
According to the NGO, a father plays a crucial role in the upbringing of a child. They say they would stress on the fact that a role played by the father is equally important. A study put forth by the NGO states there are disastrous effects on a child who grows up in a fatherless home. Children who grow up in fatherless homes are:
- 5 times more likely to commit suicide
- 32 times more likely to run away from home
- 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
- 14 times more likely to commit rape
- 9 times more likely to drop out of high school
- 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances (become drug addicts)
- 9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution
- 20 times more likely to end up in prison
- 3 million teenage girls have sexually transmitted diseases
- At least 1 out of 4 teenagers (between 14 years to 19 years) suffers from sexually transmitted diseases
With the divorce rates going up, CRISP feels that parents contemplating divorce should be required to meet a panel of experts and seek guidance in the process.
This would help in avoiding a bitter child custody battle and also prevent "parental alienation which occurs when one parent disallows the other parent from communicating with their children."
Apart from this an Early Intervention Project will be set up where divorcing parents would have to meet with a panel of experts to clarify issues such as custody, finance, education and children's upbringing before proceeding with the divorce.
- The NGO says that best way to tide over this problem would be:
- Joint custody so that the child gets the support of both the biological parents
- Put an end to the practice of alienating a child from either of the parents
- Gender bias should be eliminated from family law and from future legislation. With equal footing, conflicts inherent in divorce situations disappear.
|Chetana's ex-hubby bats for dads: News By Deccan Chronicle|
Bengaluru, June 8: Mr Kumar Jagirdhar, the ex-husband of cricketer Anil Kumble's wife Chetana, is now batting for dads who are deprived of the love of their children. He has decided to launch an organisation named Child Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting after feeling sad at only being given rights to "visit" his daughter by the courts. Over 200 fathers, including professionals from various sectors, have joined hands with him to form CRISP, which will be officially launched on June 12.
"Fathers are not just visitors," said Mr Jagirdhar. "Our organisation aims to fight for the equal rights of fathers and their parents to enjoy their share of love from children and grandchildren." Mr Jahgirdhar quoted various studies conducted in the United States which found that 70 per cent of juvenile criminals were brought up by single parents. The studies also found links between youth suicides, kids running away from homes, behavioural disorders, teen pregnancies and school dropouts with single parent families.
"This shows that father has a greater role to play in a child's life," he said. "As the proverb says, a father is better than hundred teachers." Mr Jahgirdar had gone to the Supreme Court to get the right to spend time with his daughter Aaruni and managed to get her custody for 110 days a year, including weekends and vacations. "We are closely studying the rights of the child declared by the United Nations so that we can argue our case better," said Mr Gaurav Nigam, a software engineer who has claimed custody of his four-year-old son Pulkit from his ex-wife Tripthi. He added that CRISP wanted to bring a total revolution in the mindsets of lawmakers by creating awareness about the equal importance of both parents in the life of a kid.
Say they are perfectly capable of taking care of their children, want law to be amended.
The Children's Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (Crisp) and the Save Indian Family Association (SIFF) will protest against the alleged inequality meted out to fathers in matters concerning child custody.
Fathers separated from their children will stage a protest in front of the Mahatma Gandhi statue, this Saturday. They will be joined by other family members wishing to show their solidarity to the cause.
Members of the organisations believe that children need both a mother and a father in the upbringing of a child.
"A mother being considered the only custodian is an old concept. We are more responsible, have more love and affection and also think about their future more than the mother. So, we also have the same kind of right that a mother has," said Kumar Jagirdhar, a convener of SIIF.
Why favour moms?
Data over the years has shown that 90 per cent of child custody cases go against fathers.
"A mother is required just to support the child, we are the ones who look out for the child's career, with the help of the mother. So we need our children back," said Kumar.
In many instances, fathers meet their children once a week, for an hour, which they feel is inadequate.
"The quarrel or the misunderstanding is between me and my wife. I don't know why mothers always oppose us being with the child," said a SIIF member. Fathers want the law to be amended. According to them, the law widens the rift between parents, instead of helping them resolve their issues.
Vineeta Pandey Wednesday, June 11, 2008 03:11 IST
NEW DELHI: Father's Day this June 15 will be much more than just cards and flowers for hundreds of men. Led by Kumar Jahgirdhar, ex-husband of cricketer Anil Kumble's wife Chetana, who lost custody of his daughter to his estranged wife, a group of aggrieved fathers have decided to launch a campaign against "biased child custody laws".
To start with they will stage a protest march in Bangalore on June 14. The aggrieved fathers, who are fighting custody battles in various courts, will also launch an NGO, Child Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting. It will petition the supreme court to formulate guidelines to determine a child's welfare on scientific grounds which can be used to decide custody matters. They want courts to reserve at least 30% of primary custody for fathers besides quick disposal of custody matters.
"There is a strong gender bias in favour of women while deciding custody matters even though both parents are competent. It is normally seen that courts, in order to escape from any controversy, blindly give the child's custody to the mother. We want the courts to give joint custody of the children to both parents as for the children both parents are equally important. Joint custody should be the preferred option as it focuses on reducing conflicts thereby contributing towards the welfare of the child. The child is eventually the winner as it gets the best of both parents. We are preparing to file a PIL in the SC to set universal guidelines for a child's welfare which should be adopted in all suctody cases," Jahgirdar said.
Jahgirdar, a stock broker, lost his daughter Aaruni's custody to the Kumble couple after the court observed he didn't have a woman in his house to take care of his daughter. He, however, was given visiting rights to meet her on weekends. He has since remarried and now plans to approach court again for custody of his daughter.
The group will also conduct awareness camps on issues related to child care, parenting and the importance of both parents in raising children. They will provide counseling to couples and promote the arrangement of joint custody of children while advocating reforms in existing laws and legal procedures so that all sections of the society are delivered justice.
"In keeping with the principles enshrined in the United Nations Convention on Rights of The Child, children deserve fully functioning, natural, loving, dedicated relationships with both of their parents, equally, in and out of marriage, whenever possible. A parent should not be seen as a visitor by the courts. Every parent should be entrusted with responsibility and respect and should not be treated as visitors. Shared parenting ensures that a child does not have a fractured childhood," Jahgirdhar said.
They have careers, ambitions and children to take care of—stories of men as single parents. That’s the focus on Zindagi Live this week.
Mrs. Kumble's Ex husband have to stay away from his only daughter inspite of taking care more thaqn 10 years as a Single Father , but last 3 years his daughter handed over to Mrs. Kumble by our great Judges of Supreme Court with the reson that , as Mrs. Kumble's ex-husbands home there is no women, so he can't be able to maintian the daughter without a women.
Judge asked : Do you have any women in your Home?
Husband: My loard , I am taking care my daughter without any women and she is very happy also see her school record and all the photograph.
Judge: No , a man can't take care the child with out a women , first arrange a women in your women to take care the child and till the time the temoporary custedy of the Child will be with Mrs. Kumble.
Now to get the Daughter's he have to get remarried and appealed to the court with the ground , yes now I have a Women in my home , give me back my daughter.
It is not only with Mrs. Kumble's ex-husabnds, every year more than 30,000 child had been forced to live in a Father less society by our Judges as they simply refused to consder the pain of a Father for thier Child.
Society as well as LAW failed to recornise the contrubtion of a Father for their child and they had been always treated as a Free ATM machine, thier emotion and love taken as a granted and in return we had wittness several father's silent tears in our gorup weekly meeting , how they had been deprived to evn have a look to thier child by our Judges and LAW makers, but do not forget to order huge maintiance in the name of child well fare.
But the question is unanswered: Why the Judges and LAW makers do not ready to accept that a man also can take care the child , where we allready wittness :
But IBN7 Zindgi Live expose the truth a single father also can take care the child behond resonable dought and out of 5 father , 4 are with daughter and hope our those Judges will have a look this progrrame and come to the reality of 21st Century , instead of thier assumption based theroy that to take the child you need a women in your home .
On the other Hand we wittness a lot of huge and cry by our Radical Feminsit group that Indian men do not take care child, but they never say that they never allowed the Indian Fathers or given any oppurtunity to take care the child, as they had been treated only as a Free ATM machine in case of any dispute comes regarding decision of taking care the child.
Yes, for the better future of Child, a Father also clean the Napkin of the Child, A Father also leave the Job , A father also make sleep less night , but neither our LAW maker or society recornise the same and prefer them to treat Just like a Free ATM Machine, nothing more than else.
Let wait and see the samll effort by IBN7 Team can make any difference and Indian Men also get a oppurtunity to take care thier child as a Pleasure , instead of a no-option Job.